Just writing to get down some thoughts I have had over the years. I have heard the story of Peter walking on water more times than I can count. It is one of those stories that sticks in your head as a kid and never goes away.
The story is found in Matthew and goes like this:
Matthew 14:22-33
Immediately, Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified.
"It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," replied Peter, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come, " he said. Then Peter got out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
"You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind dies down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him saying, "Truly, you are the Son of God."
As I have said, this story is very frequently told in christian circles. I mean, it has everything: miracles, the opportunity for a normal person to do the impossible, danger, etc. Interestingly enough, this version (which includes Peter) is only found in this one gospel. The other gospel writers apparently did not feel those details worth mentioning.
As a kid, I cannot count the number of times I heard the story explained this way: "So Peter stepped out on the water... and the storm was raging, and he saw the waves, and they scared him! Then, he took his eyes off of Jesus and was worried about the terrifying things going on around him. Because he lost his focus on Jesus and worried about the wind and the waves, he started to sink in the water!" The moral of the story is then: Keep your eyes on Jesus or you will sink!
I can see how the above is a wonderful way to explain the story to kids. It is clean and simple and very easy to remember. However, as I grew up cracks started to form in this perspective. The problem for me is an issue of control. As a kid, I simply didn't have the knowledge and life experience to even be aware of such things. But as an adult, I now do think about things more carefully. I am aware of a lot more, and I have problems with the traditional "Keep your eyes on Jesus or you will sink" interpretation of this passage.
To be clear, I have no problem at all with the first half of the statement. Of course I think people should look to Jesus, to God, for inspiration and guidance. This is true all of the time, though especially in life's more difficult times. I have nothing against "Keep your eyes on Jesus". Rather, I take issue with the second half... specifically that seemingly unimportant word "or". I cannot get behind the statement "Keep your eyes on Jesus OR you will sink."
The word "or" has a lot of meaning in such a statement. It creates a condition that must be met. It creates a power dynamic, en exchange of sorts. Consider the statement, "Give me your money or I will shoot you." In such a situation, what is the motivation to give your money away? The motivation becomes obvious in the statement. There is an exchange taking place in which you do something and something is granted to you. Having studied a lot about "if-then" and "conditional" statements, this jumps out at me. I dissect the statement and it reads like this:
- IF you don't keep your eyes on Jesus, THEN you will sink.
- IF you do keep your eyes on Jesus, THEN you will not sink.
That, to me, is the statement laid bare in all of its logical glory. It reads like a computer code now. Cause and effect are clearly laid out in these statements. The statement now reflects a very cut-and-dry view of things that I think aids people in entertaining a false sense of control over their lives.
Now, let's quickly consider the "you will sink" part of the statement. What does it refer to? Obviously, to Peter (in the story) it meant to drown in a storm at sea. But from childhood we are encouraged to read "between the lines" of scripture so that it more easily and directly applies to our lives. Perhaps "sinking" refers to failure? Sadness? Depression? Anxiety? Health? Tragedy? The list continues on. I also have no problem with creatively considering the alternate meanings a verse can have. But the combination of this creative thinking and the rigid functionality of the "or" creates a heady cocktail that can cause a lot of damage. It is, in fact, a lie.
Life is tough! It is unfair. Terrible things happen to people every day. They happen to good people and to bad people, men and women, young and old, Christians and non-Christians. The idea that "if I stay focused of Jesus" then I will be able to rise above life's struggles and "not sink" can be very inspirational but it is also a double-edged sword that ultimately reduces Christian faith to a basic transaction.
Consider where God is in the above equation? This belief relegates God to the role of "divine scorekeeper" who weighs your "focus" or "faith" and decides whether it is "enough" to keep you above the waves of life. How much is "enough" faith? How much is "enough" focus on Christ? 1 hour of daily bible study? Praying a rosary? Reciting the proper number of "Hail Mary's"? And thus, the relationship that many Christians have with God is quickly reduced to the simple question, "how much do you want for this?"
This "transactional" view of God also gives us a clear way to measure the faith of others.
John is getting a divorce?
Sam is struggling financially?
Amy struggles with anxiety?
The answer is simple: Just "keep your eyes on Jesus and you will stay above the waves."
And, of course, failure to overcome these challenges becomes a clear reflection of one's lack of faith. And so, Christian fellowship and encouragement is reduced to platitudes and self-righteous judgement.
Such a view of things is cruel and heartless.
To some, this dissecting of words and drawing broad conclusions about a simple bible story may seem to be nit-picking. I understand that view. I certainly could not ask that my childhood self consider these ideas. On the other hand, words really do matter. They are used to build meanings that have big consequences.
So, back to the story: What if there is no causal relationship added over the top of things? What if Peter didn't actually cause himself to sink at all? What if his fear was not really an important factor in the equation? The text never specifically says "because". Rather, we read, "But he saw the wind and was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out 'Lord, save me.'"
The story of Peter walking on the water is much more meaningful to me when I specifically avoid causal thinking. Peter is sinking. This is due to things beyond his control. He is afraid. He calls out for help and is helps. He is then asked to have more faith... but this is not because enough faith would have fixed his problems. Rather, he is being asked to have faith despite the problems, even as he is sinking beneath the waves. After all, Jesus is right there with him.
This also better models how we Christians are to treat others. When someone is truly suffering, platitudes about faith are not the answer. Rather, people need someone to "be with them" through life's suffering and pain. We must also fight the impulse to decide in our hearts that someone is the cause of their own difficulty. Perhaps they are. Perhaps they are not. Almost certainly, it is not that simple. But as long as we are focused on laying the "proper" amount of responsibility on their shoulders, we are not truly "being there" with them and all. That is not love, but judgement.
The idea that we can control anything about our lives using our faith or our relationship with God is, in my opinion, a lie that cheapens the Christian faith. It treats people as though they have far more power that they actually do, laying a heavy burden on their shoulders that they were never meant to carry. It also treats God as a heartless score-keeper who has no real agency. In the power-based culture of the west, such views are easy to fall into and often taken for granted. God is bigger than that. God has much more to offer. People have much more to receive. We cannot control as much as we think, but we do not actually need to control as much as we think. Rather, realizing that God is with us during the truly hard times may be what we truly need.
